Sometimes, events unfold as an undercurrent to our everyday living. We go about our day-to-day tasks, usually busier than we intended and on autopilot. Yet, there is that quiet and subtle undertow pulling at us from somewhere underneath the fabric of life, waiting for us to see that one long unending thread woven steadily through every inch of our tapestry. We may see it first out of the corner of our eye. Then we start to notice it more frequently, and it is no longer just a brief flash as we start to see it straight on – its bright notes and hues shining light into the dark folds. Next thing we know, we are seeing it everywhere and in everything – when this finally happens it’s like a 2 x 4-in-your-face realization, and it stops you in your tracks, taking your breath away. In 2019, my word did this.
A while back, Pastor Jenny challenged us during a Saturday Chai Time to ask God for a word – a word specifically to guide our New Year. So … I did. Strangely enough, immediately the word ENOUGH powerfully popped into my head, as if stamped on my thoughts like a watermark . As odd of a word as it was, I felt compelled to embrace it as I thought I knew the one and only thing this word would be addressing. I even ordered it on a leather bracelet to wear 24/7! In hindsight, I now see why this specific word was imprinted on my heart for the year.
Flash forward to this past Wednesday evening . The boys and I got home after the service and were chatting in the kitchen. The Resident Grinch was in a rare chipper and playful mood, and decided he would steal all of my bed pillows in one fell swoop since the last Raspberry Krispy Kreme doughnut had been eaten and was not gleefully awaiting him when we returned home (apparently, this was the punishment for such a crime). He bolted through the kitchen and into the laundry room with all four pillows in his arms.
As I turned the corner in ninja hot pursuit of my pillow rescue, I saw my bracelet lying on the floor, the metal bracket holding the chain to the leather had released itself beyond repair. It had not been touched, or roughhoused off of my arm, it just fell off of its own volition. My first thought was that I needed to immediately order a replacement – how could I not have my word with me?! Yet, something in my gut hesitated, making me reflect, and smile. The bracelet, and the word, broke off me for a reason.
You see, over the last eleven months, although really the last two years if I am completely honest with myself, ENOUGH has washed over and embraced every area and stronghold on my life. It has been my buoy in the storm, my constant reminder … across every. Single. Thing —-
No matter how it is played, Enough is just that … enough! On one hand, enough is “being satisfied, but not more.” But it can also mean “abundant.” In retrospect, I have learned: how to stop when I have had ENOUGH. ENOUGH beating myself up for every physical imperfection, and ENOUGH body shaming. ENOUGH procrastinating from physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. It is OK to say ENOUGH when others say and do hurtful things to me and those I love, even if they too are people I love – I don’t have to try to swallow my feelings, or allow untruths to be spoken over me when I now know the truth – in every way, I am enough.
Looking at my broken bracelet, I realize that these strongholds that have paralyzed my relationships and spiritual growth for most of my life have been broken off with enough. Those barriers that have haunted the recesses of me are also broken off, released, not to be picked up again. I don’t need to take my word back as it has done what it needed to do. It is OK to let ENOUGH fall to the wayside as it has now fulfilled its healing purpose.
It is now time to ask for my next word —- what will your word be?