Whatever you do, Emily — DON’T BLINK!
Isn’t it amazing how history repeats itself? As I am preparing to launch my blog, I have reviewing and relocating some pieces that I have written in the past. This post was originally written February 28, 2014. That eldest baby still lives in New York City, and now has her Masters degree under her belt as well.
The world is no less scary; having her live in such a large city so far away is no easier, but she is happy, and that is what counts most to a Mom. My advice to her remains the same:
- Don’t be afraid to pursue what you want;
- The only bad decision is indecision; and
- If you follow you heart, and live with passion and love, you will find your happily ever after.
(Original February 2014 post)
Earlier this week, my minions and I loaded into the car to drop my eldest off at the train station to begin her adult life in New York City ~ a far cry difference from her life in Farmville (yes – that truly is the name of the town where we live — irony at it’s best). Degree in hand, a heart filled with excitement, dreams and desires of entering the world of editing, a dear friend waiting at Penn Station to teach my rural baby the ins and outs of THE Big City, while the remaining four of us watched her depart, and me hiding my tears behind my sunglasses.
It is the right time for her to go, even if her brother has declared that all four of them should live at home until they are 50 (I love you guys, but I really don’t know how I feel about this one Little Man)…
As I watched her walk away, bags on her shoulder, I couldn’t help but think of watching her at age 7 in ballet class. The window on the studio door was covered with paper so parents would not distract their little babies, but I happened to notice a space the length and width of a pencil that allowed me to peek through and see our dancing cherubs. I stood there watching her, and felt a horrible pang in my heart at how she wasn’t a baby anymore; a deep sadness at how much I had missed as a working, single Mom for most of her little life – time I could never get back. In hindsight, I don’t think working, or being single made me feel this way- I think ALL Moms feel this — no matter how hard you try, you just never live up to your own parenting expectations and doubt yourself. Seventeen years later, this poem still rings true to me….
FOR EMILY (written in 1997)
It seems like only yesterday
I held you in my arms
As you would cry,
And I’d kiss your tears away.
Time is passing
I stand and watch you grow,
Right before my eyes.
As you laugh,
For all the moments
I’ve let slip by
That we can never have back.
I cannot turn back time,
Nor can I steal back
But I can try to change
And make the best
Of what little childhood
You have left.
May your grown up life be filled with much love, much adventure, much joy, much sharing, and much love (yes Em – I know I repeated myself — because love is the most important)…and thank goodness we have Skype and Facetime!